Broken Hearts Are Sometimes Mended
by willgirl
Summary: Sequel to Scarred Hearts Never Break. Cowritten by I hart Booth and Willgirl. When Brennan gets out of the hospital, her and Booth struggle to regain normalcy in their lives.
1. Awkward Silences

**A/N: Here it is, the sequel to Scarred Hearts Never Break. I hope you all enjoy! **

From the moment she tentatively eased herself into the car, things became awkward. He fiddled with the keys and waited while she shifted her position several times, trying to get comfortable. Well, as comfortable as she could be with two gunshot wounds in her abdomen.

"So…" Booth trailed off, tapping the steering wheel with his fingers. Brennan felt his gaze on her and as usual, it was pretty intense. She bit her lip to keep from sighing audibly. Why did he always have to act like he could see right through her? Or worse yet, why did he actually have to DO it?

"You remember where my apartment is, don't you?" She asked with a slight smile, attempting to dispel the tension that was filling the car. It had not been a good morning. Her discharge took forever, she had trouble dressing herself, they made her sit in a wheelchair until she left the premises and Booth had been acting strange. To say he was on edge would be an understatement of appalling proportions.

She looked down at the plastic medical bracelet on her arm, another reminder of the events that had unfolded in the past weeks. She had been having trouble sleeping and had continually woken up in a cold sweat from nightmares. The doctor's first suggestion was to see a psychologist, which she pointedly refused. So instead he gave her some painkillers that made her drowsy and able to sleep a bit more.

But the pills couldn't take away the images she saw in her head when she shut her eyes. Booth shouting, Parker crying, her blood all over the floor. The images replayed themselves over and over, never giving her reprieve from the horror she wanted so desperately to forget.

And then there was Booth. Their relationship had irrevocably changed. It was only a few weeks ago that he was kissing her, making love to her at all times of the day and night. Now he was treating her like glass. He hadn't kissed her in the hospital, not once.

She watched as he nodded in response and pulled out of the hospital parking lot. The car ride was silent, a rarity in their relationship. They drove along the streets of DC, both lost in their thoughts.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself?" He asked, after some time.

"Yes, why?" She glanced at him curiously. There was a look in his eye that she couldn't decipher, almost as if he was hiding something.

"Well if you wanted me to stay with you for a while…."

"Booth I'm fine." She said exasperatingly. The words she spoke were in fact far from the truth. Every little movement made had caused pain to course through her body. She could barely do up the buttons on her shirt because of the throbbing. That and the fact that she was on several heavy painkillers meant that she wouldn't be doing much at home. And obviously going to work was out of the question. THAT annoyed her to no end.

Part of her wanted to accept the offer and let him take care of her, make her eat when she was supposed to and all of the other things that would come having him at her beck and call. But she wanted to at least try and live on her own. She wasn't an invalid, she certainly didn't intend to be treated like one.

Booth pulled up in front of her building and a wave of exhaustion fell over Brennan as she thought about the efforts she would have to make to even just get inside her apartment. She put on her best fake smile and gingerly got out of the car, trying not to wince in pain as she did so.

Booth came around to her side and looked at her worriedly. "Can I help?" He asked.

She just shook her head, unable to form words because of the pain she was feeling. He opened the trunk and grabbed her things and they slowly headed upstairs to her apartment.

Finally making it inside, he deposited her bag on her bed and grabbed the bottle of painkillers, making his way over to the couch in the living room, where she had set herself down.

"Do you need one?" He asked.

"Yes please." She replied. He went back to the kitchen for some water and she leaned back and shut her eyes. She just wanted to be healed and go back to work, then maybe she and Booth could go back to normal.

Booth returned with the glass of water and she took it from him, downing the pill with a large gulp. He sat beside her on the couch and the awkward silence returned. She was unsure of what to say, every time she opened her mouth to apologize or tell him it wasn't his fault, she couldn't find the right words.

"You should go." She blurted out. Seeing the look on his face, she hastily continued, "I mean I'm going to go take a nap and you should too, so…"

"Right." He replied, cutting her off. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

She nodded and as he edged himself closer, her eyes widened at the thought of him finally kissing her. Instead he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and moved away suddenly.

"Okay, then." Booth said, getting up and heading towards the door. "I'll call you later Temperance."

"Bye." Brennan replied softly, watching him walk out the door.

She shut her eyes and sighed deeply. She wanted to shout and get him back She had been wrong, she did need him. Her body ached, not only from the pain, but from the want of his arms around her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He walked into the hotel and headed for the front desk, where a perky blonde woman was typing something on a computer.

"Can I help you?" She asked, in a tone that was already grating on his nerves.

"Yes. My name is Seeley Booth and I would like to get a room."


	2. Hold Me When I'm Scared

A/N: Ahhh!!! Sorry this took so long! Life got in the way! Thanks to all those who reviewed and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Two: Hold Me When I'm Scared

Booth sat back from his desk and rubbed his face tiredly. He'd taken two sleeping pills around midnight after dozing several times and waking up each and every time with his heart pounding in his chest and a cold sweat gathered on his skin.

Booth stood to stretch and immediately winced, his hand brushing over the bruise that had formed where the bullet grazed him. He glanced down at his desk where at least a months worth of paperwork taunted him. Since he was confined to desk duty for the time being, he had no more excuses to avoid it, a fact he found unimaginably irritating.

As he yawned he knew he was still way behind in the sleeping department and decided to take a break from the mundane paperwork to go in search of some much needed caffeine.

Booth pushed open the door to the break room where florescent lights flickered audibly and the floor was sticky with spilled coffee.

He slowly poured himself a cup of the bitter liquid, his movements slow and methodical.

Travis looked up from his muffin, Booth was at the counter fixing a cup of coffee, and he didn't seem to have seen him.

"Careful thar Seeley-boy." He almost smiled when Booth jumped and closed his eyes to sigh.

"And why would I need to do that, Ferguson."

Uh-oh, he must be on edge, he's using my last name.

"That coffee's so strong it stands up by itself, lad."

Booth almost smiled and sipped the foul liquid appreciatively.

"Yeah. That's pretty bad," He winced, "but it's the only way I'm going to make it through the day." Booth made an invisible toast and smiled sarcastically before sitting down at a plastic table across from his friend.

Travis crossed his arms and leaned on the table, taking a closer look at Booth.

"Still not sleeping well, eh?"

Booth gulped down the rest of the coffee, shaking his head. "Nah, but the doc gave me some magic pills that had me out like a light last night, so it's fine."

Travis narrowed his eyes. "You sure that's a good idea Seeley?"

Booth raised his eyebrow.

"Any word yet on when I can get my apartment back?" He asked, sidestepping a question he didn't feel the need to answer.

Travis sighed and leaned back. He shook his head. "I've got the forensics teams moving as fast as possible, but they're being especially thorough because of your rank in the bureau and your past with colorful characters who have far too much opportunity to get their paws on firearms. I'm afraid we'll be putting you out a bit longer." He gave Booth an apologetic smile and got up.

"Speaking of which, I should go check on the progress."

Booth nodded and Travis left just as his cell phone chimed in his pocket.

"Booth."

"Seeley? I need you down at Parker's school NOW."

"Rebecca? Why what's wrong?" Booth's mouth went dry at the anxiety in her voice. "Is Parker okay?"

He was already up and moving toward the elevator as he spoke, he could hear what sounded like Parker screaming in the background.

"I don't know…The teacher said he was working fine all morning and then all of a sudden he just started screaming…I don't know what happened except that they called me, but I can't do anything Seeley, he keeps asking for you."

Booth ran out to his SUV, keys in hand, his mind blank of all but one thought.

Get to Parker

"I'm on my way."

---

Booth jogged down the quiet elementary school hallway, searching for the kindergarten room. Passed dozens of colorful paintings of 'Summer Vacation' and lined papers full of stories etched out in childlike scrawl, he saw it.

Booth threw open the door to Ms. Carson's Kindergarten class, eyes scanning for his son. He spotted him in the corner next to the bright red cubbyholes. Sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, face red with exertion as he fought back every hand that reached for him. Rebecca, the principal, Ms. Harris, and Ms. Carson were all gathered around him, attempting to cope the frightened child out of the corner.

"Parker, please calm down baby."

"No! I want Daddy. Go away!" He shut his eyes, shook his blonde curls from side to side and clasped his hands over his ears. As Booth got closer he could see Parker was shaking from head to toe. He dropped to his knees beside the women.

"Parker?"

The little boy opened his eyes and burst into tears, leaping into his father's arms.

"Daddy, Daddy." He cried over and over, burying his head in Booth's chest, incapable of verbalizing his relief any more than that one word.

Booth clutched his son to his chest and whispered to him reassuringly, as only a father can. He could feel Parker's heart pounding and his own heart raced as he tried to think of what had happened to put his son in this condition.

"Where are the other kids?" He asked suddenly.

"One of the other teachers took them outside, he was frightening them." Ms. Harris said gently.

Booth shot her a look. "My guess is they scared him first." Then, turning his glare on the teacher he continued. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure." Ms. Carson ran a hand through her blonde hair nervously. "We had just finished finger painting and were getting out snacks before naptime. I think one of the boys blew air into his paper bag and popped it and he just..."

Parker gripped his suit jacket as she spoke and Booth kissed his hair.

"I was afraid the bullets was coming back." Parker mumbled into his shirt, and Booth closed his eyes.

Oh God, Parker.

He took hold of Parker's shoulders and pulled him back so he could look at him.

"Parker, buddy, that's not going to happen, you understand? You're okay, the kid was just playing a trick." He said seriously, searching his big brown eyes for understanding and only finding fear.

"It wasn't funny." The boy's bottom lip trembled. "Daddy is Dr. Bones okay? Did they put her blood back? Can I see her?"

Booth was speechless for a moment. Stunned not only by the question but the look in his son's eyes. A look of panic lay there that he couldn't ignore, a look no five-year-old should be capable of expressing. He realized Parker hadn't seen Brennan since that night at the hospital when they weren't sure whether she'd live or die. And, while he had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that he couldn't take away that fear, he could at least do one thing to ease Parker's mind.

"Yeah, she's going to be fine Bud," He said quietly, "I'll take you to her."

Parker nodded, still clutching Booth's arms for all he was worth. Booth stood, Parker straddling his hip and the women followed suit.

"I'm going to take him to Bones' place." He told Rebecca, who only nodded.

"Have him home by bedtime." Her forehead was deeply wrinkled with worry; she'd never seen Parker like that. She didn't know whether she was grateful to Seeley for calming him down, or furious because he was the reason behind Parker's meltdown.

Booth nodded and headed for the door.

"We should get some ice-cream for Dr. Bones, Daddy. I think that would make her feel better." Parker's small voice was swallowed up by the emptiness of the hallway. Booth just kissed his forehead and held him close.

---

Parker held his paper bag full with the ice cream tub tightly while he and Booth waited for Brennan to answer her door.

Booth stood behind Parker with one hand on his shoulder, he'd found that physical contact with his son was a necessity of late. He'd just come too close to losing him.

"Be patient Buddy, she still has some trouble moving around." Booth said, noticing Parker was starting to fidget. The boy stopped and nodded his head solemnly, his young ears catching the note of worry in his father's voice at mention of Bones' injuries.

"Booth I told you I'm…" Brennan swung open the door and stopped mid sentence. Parker smiled up at her.

"Hi Dr. Bones." He said brightly, he held up the bag for her. "We brought you ice-cream to help you feel better."

Brennan smiled hesitantly. "Thanks Parker." She glanced at Booth. "Shouldn't you be in school?" She widened the door so they could come in and Parker made himself at home at the dining room table to wait to be served his ice cream. He'd grown quite accustomed to Brennan's house ever since his Daddy and her had begun dating.

"Booth?" Brennan moved to stand in front of him as he shut the door and started inside. "Don't think that you're fooling me. I know you're just using Parker as an excuse to see me." She smiled, mostly teasing, but stopped when Booth didn't return it. Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight.

"Booth?"

He looked up at her, not a hint of amusement in his dark eyes.

"He had some kind of panic attack at school." He said quietly, Parker having found an interesting 'rock thing' on Brennan's table with which to amuse himself. "A kid popped a bag and it sounded like a gunshot…they couldn't get him to calm down."

Brennan's eyes were wide and she looked over at Parker. "Why did he finally?"

"I came and talked to him. He insisted on seeing you."

Booth watched her eyes soften as she half-smiled at his son. She wore gray sweat pants and one of Booth's oversized shirts to cover her bulky bandages. In bare feet and her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail with no make-up, it took all Booth's self control not to press her against the wall and kiss her breath away right then. But he couldn't. He bit the inside of his cheek to bring himself back under control, he just couldn't risk her getting hurt again.

"He possesses the same alpha male protective instinct that his father does." Brennan said, turning her gaze back on Booth. She gasped at the dark shade of brown in his eyes, the color his eyes turned just before he kissed her and she was almost salivating just at the thought of it. But then they lightened and she had to fight from letting her shoulders slump in disappointment.

What is wrong with him?

Frustrated, she pursed her lips, turned and walked briskly back to the kitchen to get bowls for the ice cream, needing to busy herself with something in order to keep from shouting at Booth. Without thinking she reached up into the cabinet, and before she had a chance to think about it the sudden stretch on her stitches and sore stomach muscles caused her to cry out in pain.

"Bones!" Booth was at her side in an instant. Taking her by the waist, he guided her back to the table.

"Sit. Are you okay?" He knelt in front of her, face flooded with concern. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before nodding.

"Yeah Booth. I'm fine." She smiled weakly, "Really. I'm fine, sorry. The, um, bowls are in the middle cupboard above the microwave."

Booth furrowed his brows and stood, pushing her hair behind her ear and kissing her forehead. "Don't scare me like that okay?" He whispered in her ear.

She nodded and opened her eyes. "Sorry."

Booth left to retrieve the bowls and Brennan turned to Parker across the table. He'd stopped playing with her Mayan Burial Stone and was staring at her in wide-eyed worry.

"D-Dr. Bones? Are…you gonna die?" He asked quietly, his chin trembling once again, eyes glassy.

She immediately shook her head, her chest squeezing with guilt at having worried the small boy.

"Oh Parker, c'mere." She fought back tears as he climbed off his chair and came to stand in front of her. "Parker, I promise you I'm going to be fine, alright? I'm just a little sore, nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" He asked in a small voice. Brennan was overwhelmed by the boy's concern for her. She'd grown rather close to him in the past few months of dating Booth, closer than she ever expected to be with any child. She'd found herself exhibiting classic maternal displays toward him and found that both highly disturbing, and satisfying. To see now, that Parker had been growing as attached to her as she had to him, was something that filled her with such joy she could hardly think of what to say next.

But she did.

"C'mon, get up here." She sniffed and blinked back the waterworks as Parker carefully got up on her lap. She winced slightly, but hugged him to her, smiling into his hair.

"I'm very sure Parker. Very sure."

Booth stood in the doorway and sighed, smiling. Parker had just climbed onto Brennan's lap and she was hugging him, the sight was just too perfect for words. But even as he reveled in the love washing through him as he watched these two people embrace, he knew that their close bond was forged out of fear and worry. And that made him tingle with a black cold that raced through his veins and brought him into a calm that he knew too well.

He tightened his grip on the spoons in his right hand and pursed his lips, if the opportunity arose, he was going to make whoever did this pay.


	3. A Crack in His Armour

**A/N: So first of all, we want to thank all of the reviewers! You rock our world, so thank you very much! I forgot to mention that I hart Booth write the last chapter, whereas I wrote this one! Hope you enjoy!**

They were sitting on the couch, Booth in the middle with Brennan and Parker on either side, watching Toy Story. She had never seen it before, although it was clear that Booth and Parker had watched it many times. She found herself drawn in by the simple story and parts of it made her smile, something she hadn't been doing much lately.

She felt Booth's arm around her and she sighed contentedly. Ever since the shooting, they were different. This was the most he had touched her in the last two weeks. She wanted to feel his hands on either side of her face, kissing her until she couldn't breathe and still wanting more. She wanted him to kiss her the way he used to, maybe then the knot in the pit of her stomach would go away

She glanced over at Parker, who was slowly nodding off to sleep. When Booth told her about Parker's panic attack, she felt like her heart had leapt up into her throat. She couldn't imagine how he was feeling.

A little boy shouldn't have to deal with any of this. She saw Booth shift slightly, and wondered about how he was holding up.

It was clear he wasn't sleeping. Like her, there were bags under his eyes. She wondered if he was having nightmares like she was. As she studied him she noticed, like so many times before, his strong, handsome profile. The way the light reflected off his cheeks and the planes of his face. He really was well-structured.

Handsome too. Suppressing a smirk, she shook the thoughts from her head and leaned closer to him.

"Booth?" She whispered.

"Yeah?" He turned to face her, careful not to disturb the sleeping boy next to him.

She placed her hand on his thigh and looked into his eyes, surprised to see the lust simmering there. Moving closer, she reached up and stroked his cheek. She tilted her head and felt his hot breath on her face. Her gaze darted between his lips and his eyes as she inched closer, parting her lips in anticipation. Her breath caught in her throat, more ready to feel his lips than anything else in the world, when he suddenly moved away.

"Umm….I'm tired and…" He said lamely, glancing over at Parker.

"Right." She replied moving away from him, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "If you don't mind I'm going to lie down for a bit."

"Can we stay here?" Booth asked. "I mean, just until Parker wakes up?"

She nodded and rose from the couch.

"Wake me before you leave okay?" she said, heading into her bedroom and shutting the door.

Brennan sat down on the bed and let out a sigh. All she wanted was to curl up in his arms, to have him hold her like he used to and make her feel safe. But it seemed obvious that that wasn't going to happen.

Pulling back the covers, she slipped into bed, feeling exhausted. As she succumbed to sleep, her last thought echoed in the silence

I hope it isn't bad this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He sat on the couch, gently running his fingers through Parkers hair and lost in thought about what had just happened. He could see the lust in her eyes and knew it was probably mirrored in his own, but he couldn't let anything happen. He needed to focus, it was the only way he knew how to keep her safe. And he needed to keep her safe, above everything else.

Booth struggled to keep his eyes open but sleep started to get the better of him. As he dozed off, he heard a sound, almost like a whimper. His eyes shot open and glancing at Parker he found him still asleep. He heard it again and realized it was coming from Temperance's bedroom.

Moving Parker off his lap gently, he made his way to her bedroom and quietly opened the door. Her body was moving restlessly and unintelligible words fell from her lips as she kicked the sheets off the bed.

Her face was contorted and occasionally a hand would come up as if she was shielding herself against an invisible attacker. She let out a cry and he was by her side in an instant, shaking her gently, trying to wake her.

Instead of waking, she began thrashing harder, fighting against his arms as he if were her attacker. He shouted her name to no avail, he watched as tears began trailing down her cheeks.

Just when he was about to shake her one more time, her eyes shot open and she gasped.

"Oh god." He said, expelling a breath and pulling her into his arms. His heart was pounding and he felt dizzy from the fear coursing through him. Seeing her like that, unable to wake her, scared him more than he would admit. He didn't need another reminder at how incapable he was at protecting her.

"No, Booth." She said, pushing herself out of his arms and moving back away from him.

"What?" He asked. "Are you okay?" Her hair was matted and her eyes were red from crying.

"No, I'm not." She stated simply.

"Well then let me…" He started to reach for her again.

"No." She replied firmly. "You can't have both Seeley."

"What?"

"I….I don't want you like this. Comforting me after a nightmare but not letting me hold you at other times." She said, her voice surprisingly steady. "You kiss me on the forehead but you won't kiss me on the lips. You are treating me like I'm some fragile piece of glass when all I want you to do is hold me and kiss me and make love to me." Her eyes turned glassy as she reached up to stroke his cheek.

"What's going on Seeley?" She asked quietly. "I want us to be the way we were before. I need that now more than ever."

He shook his head. "I can't." He choked out. They were the hardest words he'd ever had to say. He hated refusing her anything.

"Why? I don't understand." She said growing angry. "This doesn't make any sense." She quickly brushed away the tears brimming in her eyes. Looking at the man she loved push her away made her angry.

Yes, she did love him. She hadn't spoken the words out loud to him yet, she was too afraid of what they would bring. What he would expect of her. But when the shooting started, fear rose in her and crippled her for a moment as she watched the chaos encompass her world. Not only fear of death, but the fear the Booth would never know how she truly felt about him.

She took a deep breath.

"Seeley…I….I love you." she whispered, staring into his eyes hoping for something in return.

He sighed, rubbing his face. "I love you too Temperance. But I…...I just can't." he repeated, turning away from her, closing his eyes to the way his heart soared when she said those words. He knew if he looked at her he would give in. He couldn't allow himself to do that.

Brennan felt her heart sink like a stone.

"Then stop trying to protect me." She replied coolly, moving to the edge of the bed. "You can't have it both ways." Booth watched her eyes as she closed up to him and had to turn away. To see her retreating from him after he'd spent so long trying to get her to open up...it was enough to break him right then and there if he'd had to watch it for one more moment.

Brennan watch him shift in his seat, expecting him to protest and surprised when he simply nodded and stood, heading for the door.

"I have to go take Parker back." He said quietly.

"Right." She replied calmly. She got up and followed him out to the living room and watched as he gathered his things and picked up Parker.

"So….bye." He shifted awkwardly before finally turning and heading for the door.

"Bye." She said softly, arms crossed over her chest, watching him leave. Brennan sat on her couch with her head in her hands. She didn't know what was wrong with him. She had finally told him that she loved him and he had rejected her. Yes, he did say he loved her too but for some reason he refused to act on it, as if somehow the shooting changed his mind about their relationship.

She felt panic rising in her chest at this, that she'd been wrong about him, that he really would leave the way everyone else had.

"No." She said aloud, shaking her head and stamping down the feeling along with the thought. He wouldn't do that.

It did seem strange though, considering that only two months ago he was standing in front of her, begging her to give them a chance. Now she had done the same thing, but the results were not what she expected.

She was not the begging type, far from it. And she cursed her injuries because in that moment she just wanted to hit him and kiss him and make him understand that she needed him. He couldn't give her his love and comfort but then take it away when he chose to. That's not how it worked.

Lifting her head, she noticed Parker's jacket lying on the coffee table. She went to the window and saw that Booth was still there, pacing back and forth in front of the car, talking on his cellphone.

She grabbed the jacket and slipped on her shoes, if she hurried she could still get it to him.

"No. Listen, Travis, I'll be fine." Booth said again. "I'm taking Parker back to Rebecca's, so it's not a problem. Just let me know when I can get back into my apartment okay?"

She stood on the steps in shock, listening to what he had said. He wasn't staying at his apartment and she hadn't even realize it.

He must be at a hotel She mused to herself. Why didn't he tell me?

As she watched him paced back and forth, oblivious to her presence, she realized that they had come to visit her not only because Parker wanted to see her, but because they literally had no place else to go. Upon this discovery, she felt her anger beginning to melt away.

Booth hung up his phone and took a deep breath. He stretched his stiff neck and was about to get into the car when he heard a faint cough behind him. Turning Booth saw Brennan standing on her steps, a worried look on her face.

"Why aren't you staying at your apartment?" She asked pointedly.

"Crime scene." He said flatly. "Forensics are still investigating. Listen Bones…"

"Stay with me." She blurted out, before either of them had a chance to think.

"No, Bones I.."

"Stay with me." She repeated. "Please. What are you going to do when you have Parker? Hang out with him in a hotel? You can both stay with me."

Booth flicked his eyes to the sleeping boy in the car. Rebecca had called a few minutes before Travis and asked if Parker could stay with him for the night. He had said 'yes' immediately forgetting that he was currently without an address.

He looked back into her pleading eyes and found himself nodding in agreement.

At least this way I can keep an eye on her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They were sitting on the couch, Booth in the middle, Brennan and Parker on either side. After his long nap, Parker was too wide awake to go to sleep at a decent time, and they couldn't very well go anywhere with Brennan's mobility still so severely hindered, so they watched movie after movie until the five-year-old finally succumbed to sleep at eleven. It was well past midnight now and Brennan was asleep as well.

As Nemo was captured by the divers for the fourth time that night, Booth tried to close his eyes. But sleep didn't come, rather taunted him moving just out of his grasp every time he reached for it.

Slowly, he pulled Parker into his arms and carried him down to the spare room Temperance had made up for him earlier. He tucked the covers in close around the boy's small body, placed a soft kiss on his cheek and moved back to the living room.

She was easy to carry as well and he was surprised that she didn't wake up when he lifted her off the couch and placed her into her bed.

After a few moments of silent debate, he lay down next to her, and tried to force himself to sleep, but he couldn't. He rolled over, frustrated and angry. He was exhausted but yet he couldn't sleep, not even a minute. Looking over at Temperance's unmoving form, he wished for a few hours of that.

Slowly getting out of bed, he moved towards his bag and began digging through it. Finally he came across what he was looking for; a small bottle of pills prescribed to S. Booth. He popped the cap and shook out a small white capsule, paused and then shook out another one. The doctor told him to take one every time he was having trouble sleeping, but right now he needed two.

He turned on the bathroom light, the soft glow illuminating the bedroom. He poured himself some water in the glass that Brennan so conveniently kept on the counter, and tossed the pills into his mouth swallowing them with the water.

He put the cup down and sighed as he looked at his pallid face in the mirror.

Bracing his arms against the countertop, he let his head drop under it's own weight and closed his eyes.

It's okay now. He reassured himself. Everything's going to be all right.

He didn't see her watching him from the bed with a worried frown on her face.


	4. Stand By Me

**A/N: Here is chapter four, written by the wonderful I hart Booth! Thanks for all the reviews, we really appreciate it! **

---Six Weeks Earlier---

Brennan glanced at her phone vibrating softly on the table, and back at her laptop. She'd promised to have the next chapter of her book to her publisher by Friday and she really couldn't afford any interruptions. But the vibration continued and she sighed heavily. Moving her computer aside, she snatched the phone off the table and checked the Caller ID. Grinning, she flipped it open.

"Hey Handsome, wasn't expecting to hear from you today." She still found it amazing at how easily a single phone call from Booth could change her mood. She hadn't seen him since they woke together the day before because they didn't have any cases.

"Um, hi. Is this Bones?"

She frowned, it was a man's voice, but not Booth.

"Yes, who is this and why do you have Booth's phone?"

"My name is Robert Glienn. I'm the doorman at Mr. Booth's building. I've got him right here, but he doesn't look so great. I think he's sick and he was going out to get medicine or something, but didn't quite make it. He almost collapsed on his way out of the elevator. You are the first person in his speed dial so I thought you would be a good choice to call."

She felt her heartbeat start to speed up. She didn't like the sound of that.

"Yes, thank you." She told the man, shutting down her computer. "Could you put Booth on please?"

After a moment of shuffling and mumbled words and curses on the other end, Booth's quiet, tired sounding voice came over the line.

"Bones?"

"Booth, what were you thinking? If you're sick you should stay in bed." She chided, slipping on her shoes.

He coughed and replied weakly. "Yeah, I know…I just…I'm dying here and all the medicine I have is Parker's stuff."

She rolled her eyes at his lack of preparation. "Well that's not a great idea Booth, you get sick too you know."

"Believe me I noticed."

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked.  
"I know you were busy with your book and…" he trailed off, violently coughing.

As she searched for her purse, she bit back a sigh of exasperation. Typical alpha male. She thought to herself.

"Okay, what do you need? What are your symptoms?"

He slowly rattled off a list of unpleasant sounding indicators that all pointed to one ultimately unpleasant answer.

"Booth you have the Stomach Flu."

He groaned in response. "I was afraid of that."

"I'm on my way over there now. I'll pick up the stuff you need, put the other guy back on the phone."

"Robert, Bones." He corrected automatically. More shuffling and the other voice was back.

"Yes?"

"Could you take him back to his apartment please? I have to stop and get him some things but I'm on my way over right now." She grabbed her car keys, and headed out the door, phone cradled between her shoulder and ear as she pulled on a red sweatshirt.

"Well, I'm really not supposed to leave the lobby ma'am."

"Please Mr...please Robert. He really should be upstairs. I'll pay you when I get there."

The man sighed. "That won't be necessary Ms. Bones, I'll get him back upstairs safely."

Brennan thanked him and shut the phone not bothering to correct him on her name as she sped off to the drugstore.

Booth collapsed onto his bed. His head felt like it was four times it's normal size and the nausea was so excruciating that he wanted to surgically remove his own stomach. He hadn't had the flu in a long time, but knew from experience that it wasn't going to be a fun night. His energy all but gone, he slowly moved down the hall to the refrigerator, pulled out a gallon of water from the refrigerator and lugged it back to his bedroom.

Climbing under the covers, he started to shiver as sweat soaked his back and he gulped a few glasses of water. He soon regretted drinking so fast though, when his stomach turned and he bolted to the bathroom to avoid throwing up whatever may have been in his stomach.

Half an hour later, Brennan pulled out her key and let herself into Booth's apartment.

"Booth?"

A soft response from the bedroom greeted her and she walked to the back of the apartment, bringing her bag of healing products with her.

Booth was lying stretched out on top of the covers in sweatpants and a t-shirt, staring at the TV screen blankly. She came and sat beside him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently, wincing as she touched his forehead. He was burning up.

"Like crap." His voice was hoarse and he was much paler than usual.

She nodded, slowly taking stock of him. His eyes were glazed over, his hair damp with sweat. His body, usually in constant motion as he paced, moved, bounced or tossed things into the air, was completely still. It was actually rather unnerving.

"Here." She reached into the bag and pulled out some cough medicine. Cough and congestion relievers, several immune boosters and a bottle of Nyquil.

"This stuff is a godsend, you'll sleep like a…like a…sleeping person." She poured him a couple tablespoons of the liquid and a handful of pills, trying to remember the correct idiom.

"Baby." He supplied, downing the medicine in one gulp with the water on his bed stand.

"What?"

"No, not you Baby. Sleep like a ba…never mind."

She smiled at his effort and squeezed his hand. Leaving the bottles on the table beside him, she got up.

"C'mon let's get you under the covers."

He shivered and complied willingly, letting her tuck him in with numerous layers of blankets.

"Where are you going?" He looked at her worriedly as she turned to leave. She kissed his forehead, trying not to think of how maternal taking care of him felt.

"My parents always made me soup when I was sick. Would you like some? Think you can keep it down?"

He shrugged. "I'll try."

And he did, for about forty-five minutes, then he tossed it.

Brennan's evening consisted of zero writing and trying her best to keep scientific explanations for everything to a minimum, knowing it only irritated him when he was like this. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she attempted to keep her temper in check every time he spoke in that whiny tone.

"I'm too hot." "I'm cold." "Can I have s'more soup?" "Come sit with me." "I'm thirsty."

Brennan drew him a warm bath around ten which calmed him for a while, and he managed to joke with her a bit, though his brain was obviously functioning slower than usual.

He got out of the water and rolled his shoulders as he changed into different clothes and got back into bed. His muscles ached and he couldn't get comfortable, despite the various positions he tried. He hated being sick.

Later that night Brennan grew slightly more concerned when he stopped talking at all. He was even quieter than before and sat, staring unseeingly at the TV with a glazed expression that made her uneasy.

"I think you should try and sleep Booth." She told him, smoothing his hair and noticing that his fever seemed to be spiking again. Booth only nodded and scooted over on the large bed so she could sit down.

She climbed under the covers with him and he rested his head on her shoulder, his large arms engulfing her waist.

She sighed, she liked having him near her, but not because he didn't feel well and wanted comfort. For all her complaining, she really didn't mind taking care of him, she just wanted him to feel good again. It surprised her really, the sudden change in their relationship. It was only twelve days ago that they were just partners and now she was here in his apartment, taking care of him. She wasn't as scared as she thought she would be. Somehow, being here with him just felt right.

Her hand had been stroking from his hairline down his cheek to the bottom of his jaw absently for almost fifteen minutes before she heard him snoring beside her. She smiled and flicked off the light, turning to wrap her arms around him as she too drifted to sleep, convinced he would feel better in the morning.

Around 2am a soft sound began working it's way into Brennan's brain, slowly bringing her back to the world of the conscious.

"Booth?" She said softly, rolling over to find him jerking in his sleep, pushing the covers away. "Booth wake up." She reached out and found his arms slick with sweat, his body warm to the touch. Realizing he was much warmer than before, she jumped out of bed and ran to get a bowl of water and a washcloth.

"Booth, Booth wake up, c'mon Babe please." She called from the bathroom, glancing out at him several times, not even realizing her slip with the affectionate pet name. He was still tossing and turning, a frown on his face, no doubt in a fever induced nightmare.

She returned to his side as quickly as she could and began dabbing his brow with the cloth.

"Booth…Booth wake up please."

Suddenly his eyes popped open and he sat up. She didn't even have a chance to ask what was happening and he was off the bed, quickly and clumsily moving down the hall to the bathroom. Realizing what he was doing, Brennan got up and went after him.

He was bent over the toilet throwing up whatever might be left of his medicine and chicken soup when she got to him. Brennan came to stand beside him, realizing he really didn't need his hair held out of his face, she instead rubbed small circles on his back and spoke soothingly.

"Hey, hey. You're okay…take a deep breath Booth you're fine."

Finally it was over and wiping his mouth, he sat on the edge of the tub. His breathing ragged and loud.

"You okay?" She asked after a moment. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"I hate doing that."

She agreed and waited while he rinsed his mouth before helping him back to bed, his fever still prevalent.

Booth hadn't felt this horrible in a long time, and he'd rarely been so grateful for Brennan's presence. While he wasn't thrilled she got to see him in one of his less flattering moments, he was glad she came. His muscles ached and his head hurt and his stomach was not agreeing with anything, but if Bones was around it wasn't so bad.

Well, it was, but at least it was tolerable.

Brennan held out a glass of water to him after he got into the bed and he glared at it.

"You need to stay hydrated." She told him matter-of-factly. After a few moments he grudgingly took it and gulped it down.

"Slowly Booth, or you'll just throw it right back up."

When he was finished she got into bed beside him.

"Turn on your side." He started to move, too tired to argue or even ask why. "Other side. Lying on your left aids in settling your stomach." He turned so he was facing away from her and she propped herself up on an elbow so she could continue rubbing circles on his back until he fell asleep again.

Ten minutes later she took a deep breath as his breathing evened out and she lay down. She watched him breathing for a few moments in the dark. Satisfied that he was calm, she leaned down and kissed his cheek gently before wrapping her arms around him, hoping the rest of the night would be less eventful.


	5. Hold It Together

**A/N: Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy! Hart and I both appreciate the fantastic reviews that we have recieved, so thank you!**

It had been almost a week since the 'I love you' fiasco and Brennan was growing increasingly worried about Booth. He was becoming more and more distant, almost to the point where they barely talked.

Yes, he still helped her around the apartment seeing that her mobility was limited, and he changed her bandages regularly, made sure she took all of her pills but it was always done in silence.

She thought that maybe he was mad at her, although she couldn't figure out what for.

Maybe things will get better when Parker gets here. She mused to herself.

Booth had left to get him a few minutes ago and she was instantly struck by how alone she felt without him. They had only been dating a short while but with everything that happened and now Booth living with her, she felt his presence everywhere. It was amazing how empty the apartment seemed when he wasn't around, how vulnerable she felt. Booth made it feel safe.

After half an hour, and having fought off the urge to call him several times, she heard chatter in the hallway and knew they had arrived. Brennan was practically grinning at the door before it even opened, she was so excited. She'd formed a surprising bond with Parker, one that was elevated after the 'incident.'

It seemed peculiar to her that she referred to it as 'the incident' yet she couldn't think of another word to described what had happened, so she used it and tried not to think too much about what it meant.

The door swung open and Parker ran towards her, his blonde curls bouncing and whipping through the air. He skidded his new Superman sneakers to a stop right in front of her.

"Hi Dr.Bones!" He said, rocking back and forth on his feet as if his body just couldn't stop moving.

"Hi Parker." She replied warmly. "Where's my hug?"

Parker's face turned serious.

"Daddy says I can't give you a hug 'cause the bad guys hurt you." He said sadly.

Brennan flicked a glance at Booth who wore a pained expression but remained silent.

"Of course you can hug me." She replied, smiling at the small boy. "You just have to be gentle, okay?"

Parker nodded and moved towards her with a grin. She quickly enveloped him into a hug, and in a motherly gesture she'd only recently become accustomed to, she placed a kiss on top of his head. She blinked back tears when his small arms maintained their tight hold even after several moments. Looking up at Booth she noticed that he was adverting his eyes and staring elsewhere in the apartment, fidgeting with his keys and shifting on his feet. She frowned slightly in confusion, why didn't he want to look at them?

Finally Parker pulled away.

"Can we watch a movie, Dr. Bones?"

"Sure." She replied. "That sounds like a great idea."

"Umm…actually I have to go to work." Booth said, smiling apologetically at them both. "Travis called."

"Oh right." She said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. "When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure. Are you two going to be okay?"

"We'll be fine, right Parker?" She said, turning to him.

"Sure." Parker replied, quietly, obviously upset that his father was leaving.

"Okay." Booth hesitated, as if debating whether or not to come kiss her goodbye. Brennan knew what his ultimate choice would be, and was disappointed, but not surprised when he turned, headed out the door.

She looked down at the sad little boy and bit her lip, wondering what she could do.

She brightened as an idea hit her.

"How about that movie bub?" She used the nickname Booth always used when trying to cheer his son up, hoping it would help. "We could get our pajamas on and order a pizza and watch some movies, what do you think?"

"Like a sleepover?" Parker said, perking up.

"Yeah. Exactly like a sleepover." She replied, immediately relieved.

"Okay!" Parker said, taking off towards 'his room.' After she and Booth had started dating, she made up the guest room for Parker, she even brought in a few toys and clothes to make him feel more comfortable.

When he disappeared down the hall she rose stiffly from the couch and headed over to the door, making sure that all the locks were secure.

A shiver went through her body when her fingers touched the cold metal locks and she recalled for the thousandth time 'the incident' in Booth's apartment. Ever since then, she had made sure to keep her doors locked at all times, even though she knew it wouldn't make much difference if someone decided to start shooting at her. She had also made a habit of shutting all the windows and blinds even as her heart pounded wildly while doing so.

It was irrational, she knew, but it made her feel safe, something she missed desperately. She slowly turned and walked to her bedroom to get her pajamas.

Pulling them out of her drawer, she gingerly began undoing the buttons on her shirt and pulled it off. Usually Booth helped her with this, but she was glad she didn't have help tonight. She wanted to see what she could do for herself, and when Booth was around it was next to impossible. She felt like an invalid and she was sick of it.

Slowly slipped the pyjama top over her head, satisfied to have completed one task entirely on her own. The bottoms, on the other hand, were far more difficult since she had trouble bending over.

"Dr. Bones?" Parker called, signalling he was already done and looking for her.

"Be right there." She replied, trying to move faster. "Pick out a movie, okay?"

"Okay." He said and she heard him head to the living room.

Brennan picked up the pants and tried lifting her left leg, but could not get it high enough to fit into the pants. She tried until she was almost crying out from the pain before she threw them down in frustration and blinked back the angry tears stood in her eyes.

She couldn't even put pajamas on by herself, how long was it going to take until she could be herself again, back in the lab where she belonged? In the field, in the interrogation room. Back to taking care of herself like she knew she could.

The pain was actually becoming worse, not better. For a few days when she had gotten out of the hospital she started doing things like she normally did and now she was paying for that foolish mistake.

Her chest hurt, to the point where it was difficult to take a deep breath. And her body ached all over. She hadn't told Booth yet, she didn't want him to worry. Besides the doctor had gone through the process with her and said that it would be like this, but she still couldn't help but think that it would take forever for her body to heal. A forever she didn't have, or didn't want to wait for.

Finally, after a few calming breaths, she went to the closet and searched for a nightgown.

This will have to do. She thought to herself. She slowly pulled off the pajama top and slipped the nightgown on before trudging out to the living room, already exhausted.

"Ready?" She asked Parker, who was curled up on the couch with his pillow and blanket.

"Yep." He replied. "I put in Beauty and the Beast 'cause I know you like it Dr. Bones."

"Thanks Parker." She replied, struck by his thoughtfulness. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them both as they settled in to watch the movie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Booth strode into the FBI building, his footsteps echoing in the nearly empty halls. It was nearly seven after all.

He immediately went to his office, only to find it empty and feel himself getting frustrated quickly. He wandered the Bullpen for a moment before finally hearing Travis's laugh in the other direction. He headed to the break room and opened the door.

Travis turned toward the door, he and four other agents who were working a particularly tough serial killer case were supposed to be the only ones in the building.

"Seeley?" Travis said, noting the haggard expression and dark circles under Booth's eyes looked ten times worse under the blinking florescent lights.

"What are you doing here?"

"What's going on with the case?" Booth replied, bypassing the pleasantries and ignoring the other agents.

"Um, let's go talk in my office, ok?" He drained his coffee cup and lead Booth away from the other men who were looking on curiously.

Once in his office, Travis stood back and took a better look at Booth. He didn't like what he saw. His friend was pale and his face was drawn with exhaustion. He sat slightly hunched over as if the weight of the world was upon him. But this Travis expected. The twitch he didn't.

It was almost undetectable, just a slight twitch of his forefinger but it was still enough to give Travis concern. He had spent long enough working on drug related cases with the DEA to recognize the early symptoms of withdrawal.

"What can I do for you Seeley-boy?" He asked cheerfully, hoping that the non-aggressive approach would encourage his friend to talk.

"What's going on with the case?" Booth asked again, stubbornly refusing to fall for Travis's tricks.

"Well…we are investigating the best that we can, but so far the guy has been tricky." Travis stated. "No other incidents, no witnesses to provide an id. We know you wounded him, but he hasn't been to the hospital yet and we are checking passengers at the airport, but its pretty useless since we don't know what he looks like. Or even if it's a he."

Booth gripped the edge of the chair. "So now what? We just go on and pretend like nothing ever happened?" His voice rose without his realizing it as he lost another bit of his carefully crafted control.

"Seeley, lad, you need to calm down." Travis said, perching himself on the edge of his desk. "We'll figure this out I promise, k?"

Booth took a deep breath, nodded and stood up. "Fine." He said dully.

"Right, go home and take care of that lovely lass of yours." Travis said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "And your boy too."

Booth nodded and exited the office without another word.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had finished the movie and were waiting for the pizza to arrive before they started another. Glancing at the clock, she realized it was nine-thirty already. Booth had been gone for over two hours and she was beginning to feel more than 'a little' worried.

He's fine. She thought to herself. He's with Travis.

She felt better knowing that Booth was in the company of the tall, Irish man who had so bluntly questioned her in the hospital. She could tell he was a good friend.

The doorbell rang and as she got up to get the pizza, she realized she was only wearing a nightgown. Her cheeks coloured as she moved towards the door, she hoped the pizza guy was understanding. Or better yet, that he was a girl.

Upon opening the door, she found herself being examined by the pimple-faced pizza boy while she hastily signed the credit slip and took the food. She brought the pizza back to the couch where Parker was waiting and realized that it would be better to have plates, but was too tired to go into the kitchen and get out the stepladder so she could get to them.

"Let's just eat with our hands, okay bud?"

"Okay Dr. Bones." Parker replied, picking up a piece of pizza and taking a big bite, cheese strings hanging from his chin as he chewed. They sat for a few minutes eating, when suddenly Parker put his pizza down and turned toward her.

"Dr. Bones?"

"Yes?"

"Are the bad men coming back?" He said quietly.

She was taken aback by his question. She knew he was having panic attacks as well as nightmares but she thought he already knew the answer to this.

She took a deep breath and returned the serious look he was giving her, trying to think of the best thing to say to calm his fears. She decided that the truth, 'I don't know, I hope not', would probably not be the best thing for him to hear. So she did the one thing she swore she would never do to a child. She lied.

"No they aren't. Never. She said, gesturing for him to move closer. He snuggled into her side and she gently stroked his curls.

"But then why is Daddy sad?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, though she knew exactly what he meant, but she had hoped Parker wouldn't be able to see it.

"Daddy doesn't make jokes with me anymore and he doesn't smile hardly at all." Parker said simply. "I thought it was 'cause the bad men was coming back. I don't want them to come back, Dr.Bones." He said, burying his head into her side.

An overwhelming need to protect him washed over her and she hugged him tighter still, even though doing so caused her to wince. She pushed down the anthropological commentary on 'motherly instinct' in her head and focused on soothing the scared little boy.

"Oh bud, they won't come back, I promise. And your dad is working hard to make sure that they go to jail, okay? He's just sad because of what happened and he's trying to make it better. He'll be okay, we'll make him happy okay?"

"Okay!" Parker said, getting excited. "How 'bout I colour him a picture?"

"That's a great idea." She replied. "Why don't you go get the paper and crayons and bring them back out here okay?"

Parker nodded and scampered off to the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He had been driving for hours, unsure of the direction he was going. Glancing at the clock and noticing that it was 8:41 pm, he began to feel a surge of guilt in his chest. He should have been home hours ago but he just couldn't.

He couldn't walk in there and face her, not able to give her the answers they both needed. He was a failure, for once unable to do his job properly. And Parker. When he saw his son hug Temperance earlier, he was struck by the fact that everything was different.

Every hug, every touch was weighted with sorrow and concern. It was easier to avoid those things entirely than to constantly feel the pain of that day over and over.

As he drove down an unnamed country road, he suddenly pulled off to the side and into a grassy field. Killing the engine, he gripped the steering wheel and began to scream.

He screamed and screamed until his voice turned hoarse and the hot tears falling down his face had soaked the edge of his t-shirt. His heart pounded rapidly as the images played over and over in his mind. Assaulting him. Even when he closed his eyes he couldn't escape.

The gunfire starting. Him telling them to get down. Crawling across the floor to the bedroom to retrieve his gun, terrified the entire time that one of them would get hurt, or worse. Parker standing in the line of fire. Temperance holding her chest tightly. And the blood.

There was always blood, back then and now. It was the one thing that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her eyes opened when she heard the doorknob rattling and the sound of keys clanging against themselves. Slowly sitting up, she tried not to jostle Parker, whose head was resting on her lap. She glanced at the time and saw that it was 12:03 am. He had been gone for over five hours and he hadn't called once. She had dialled his cell several times and even called FBI Headquarters, but they had said he left hours ago.

The door opened and he walked in, heading straight for the couch.

"Hi.." He said quietly.

"Where were you?" She said coldly.

He winced, he knew she'd be upset with him. He'd actually been hoping she'd be sleeping when he arrived so he wouldn't have to explain his odd disappearance. But he knew better, she'd been sleeping very lightly of late.

"Sorry, I got caught up in the case. I was going over some things with Travis."

She was struck by how easily he had lied to her and she felt herself growing angry.

"Right." She replied stiffly. "Parker was waiting up for you. He drew all of those pictures."

He looked over and saw that the coffee table was littered with crayon drawings, most of them of three people walking hand in hand.

"He was drawing them so you wouldn't be sad anymore." She stated in the same matt-of-fact tone she used when studying bones, and obviously avoiding his eyes.

"Temperance…" he began.

"Save it." She replied harshly. "I'm not the one who needs an apology from you right now."

He looked down at his son, the tear tracks on his face visible, and he knew she was right.

"Wait here." He whispered to her as he picked up Parker and took down to the guest bedroom.

After ensuring that Parker was asleep, Booth headed back to the couch where Brennan was waiting.

"Look Bones…" He began

She stopped him with a wave of her hand and slowly struggled to get up from the couch. Booth rushed across the room to help her, but froze at the piercing glare she sent him.

"Stop Booth. I managed by myself all evening.' She snapped, brushing past him, just close enough so her silky nightgown brushed his hand as she went by.

He turned and immediately followed her, his own anger flaring at her cool attitude. He'd made a mistake, yes, and he probably on some level knew he was wrong. But more accessible, closer to the surface, all he felt was exhausted and irritated.

He shut the bedroom door and turned to her.

"What's you're problem Bones?" He nearly shouted, hastily taking off his jacket and tossing it to the floor.

Brennan whirled around and glared at him.

He's lucky this bed is between us or I'd…

"My problem? My problem Booth is that you were gone for five hours and I had no idea where you were! I was calling you and calling you, and you never picked up. Don't give me that crap about being at your office, because I called there too. I thought something had happened to you." She began pacing, she felt like all her pent up hostility at the whole situation they were n finally had a vent and she intended to use it to the fullest.

"My problem is that I can't even put on a stupid pair of pajama bottoms without help. I can't take a shower, I can't get dishes from the cabinet without a chair or stool. I…I can't even go to the lab and do my job! My problem is that you won't kiss me Booth." She said finally, throwing her hands in the air and turning the full brunt of her tirade toward him.

Booth blinked and took a step back. "What?"

Brennan stood open-mouthed for a moment, as surprised as Booth that the real reason for her irritation had come out. But she recovered quickly.

"Dammit Booth I'm not made of crystal. I'm not going to break!"

She suddenly moved around the bed toward him, stopping only feet in front of him.

"Kiss me Booth. Kiss me like you're not afraid I'll break." She demanded, sticking her chin out defiantly.

Booth tilted his head, eyes resting longingly on her lips before turning away.

Brennan had to close her eyes to keep from hitting him, wishing it were scientifically possible to knock sense into someone.

"If you won't do it I'll find someone who will." She stated calmly.

Booth's head snapped back to her. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." She turned and began pacing, a thoughtful look on her face. "Yeah, Zack has always had a crush on me, I'm sure he'd do it."

"And you think the Baby Squint can kiss better than me?"

"Definitely not." The way she said it as a statement of fact and not flattery made his chest swell with pride, the fist time it hadn't felt weighted down in weeks.

"But if you're not willing to kiss me the way I want and need to be kissed, then I'm sure Zack would be more than willing. Maybe even…"

In two steps he was to her, hands on either side of her face as he crushed her lips with his.


	6. Pain That Can't Be Healed

**A/N: Ahh, its been forever! Hart and I truly apologize, although technically its all my fault! Thanks to all the reviewers, you really make our day! **

Brennan felt like the world had finally started spinning again. Booth's kiss, his lips, they were like rain in the desert. She couldn't remember ever wanting something so much, or needing it so badly.

In an instant her hands were in his hair, hungry, searching, wanting to feel everything in a rush while at the same time wanting to go torturously slow, making the moment last. All she felt was him, all she smelled and tasted.

Their kisses were never dull, on the contrary they were always marked with passion and electricity. But those other times their lips had met were nothing compared to now, it had never been like this.

Booth felt relief flooding through him, she smelled so good. Felt so good. He almost couldn't believe he'd deprived himself, and her, of this for so long. He wanted to stay like this forever. He never wanted to stop touching her, stop holding her. And yet, still, even in the back of his fuzzy mind he knew he had to be careful.

As Brennan grew hungrier and more aggressive by the moment, Booth became more and more careful, almost awkward in his movements. She would push herself closer and grind her hips against him and his hands would immediately move to her lower back, only to be pulled away in the same instant. He was so nervous about hurting her that he couldn't focus on kissing anymore. It was on the second time he bumped his teeth against hers that Brennan finally frowned and pulled away, short of breath and studying him.

"What are you doing?"

Booth, whose eyes were already open, stopped moving. "What? Are you alright?"

Brennan rolled her eyes and stepped back from him.

"Yes, Booth, I'm fine. In fact I was better before you started being afraid to touch me." She scolded, hands on her hips.

Booth swallowed and averted his eyes, not wanting to admit to her that that had been exactly what he was doing.

"No…I just…"

Brennan shook her head to silence him before reaching forward and giving him a small shove. Booth hadn't anticipated this and he staggered backwards and ended up with his back up against the bedroom door. 

She stepped forward, pressing her body up against his so he couldn't move away.

"This is how you kiss." She said quietly before leaning up to capture his lips. Her lips were soft and at first the touch was light. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip and nibbled gently until he moaned into her mouth. Seizing the opportunity, her tongue parted his lips and entered him, teasing and touching his tongue with hers until she could tell he was no longer thinking about anything other than her. Her lips, her touch, her body.

Booth literally thought he saw stars. He was by no means a bad kisser, but when Brennan took the lead, she had a way of kissing him until he couldn't see straight.

Any and all thoughts he had, fled and he caught on quickly, returning the kiss fiercely. He took hold of her hips and pushed her backward toward the bed, where she lay below him, feverishly clawing at his clothes. Booth straddled her hips and, without breaking contact with their lips, managed to reach down and help her unbutton his shirt and pants.

When he was almost free of his own clothes they set to work on her nightgown. Pulling the silky garment up over her head was more than a little difficult in their current position, so Brennan pushed on his shoulder and rolled them over so he could pull it off her.

Both were so caught up in loving that neither noticed the blood seeping through the bandage on her stomach.

Booth's hand roamed up her body, pulling the thin silk material along with it. His hand brushed the sensitive skin and pain accompanied the sensation.

Brennan's eyes flew open when Booth's lips released hers and began kissing down her neck. She bit her lip, trying to hold in the cry of pain that wanted to escape, afraid he would stop if he thought he was hurting her.

Knowing he would.

But when he started laying gentle, tender kisses down her chest, his hands instinctively tightened on her hips and she shut her eyes, whimpering quietly. She didn't want it to stop, didn't want him to stop. She'd waited so long for this; she would not allow 'the incident' to rule over her existence anymore.

Booth continued his ministrations, completely unaware of Brennan's struggle to distinguish pleasure from pain. He turned her over so she was lying on her back and slowly descended down her neck, her chest. He gently kissed around her bandage, his fingers leaving feather light trails of fire behind them as he pulled off her last remaining garment. His eyes were squeezed shut as he reveled in the sensation of her body underneath him. He continued tasting her, his tongue moving down her chest and eventually to her inner thigh.

When she felt him, she couldn't help the way her hips bucked off the bed, sending coursing pain like she'd never known radiating through her.

At first he didn't recognize the cry as pain, but the whimpers that turned to sobs afterward quickly clued him in. Immediately he stopped moving and looked up at her. She was biting her lip, attempting to blink back tears that were soon streaming down her cheeks. In an instant he was at her side, hands shaking with fear.

"Temperance. Baby are you okay?"

She nodded, but didn't speak and he didn't believe her for a second. His eyes roamed down her body and landed on the bloody bandage.

"Oh God, Bones I'm so sorry." He jumped off the bed and ran down the hall to the bathroom to retrieve her bandages and antiseptic. He returned only moments later and began carefully removing the old bandage and cleaned her up before putting on the new one. The entire time he apologized for how much pain she was in, wanting to hit himself for being so selfish.

When he finished he watched in the darkness as she slowly curled into a ball, bowing her head to her knees, attempting to protect herself from the pain, as curling into the fetal position usually does. But he could tell by the way she squeezed her hands into white knuckled fists that the action was causing more pain than comfort.

Like a freight train the helplessness hit him, splattering him all over the windshield of guilt as he watched the woman he loved attempting to get a grip on a pain that was so intense she couldn't even speak.

He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. He should have known better…he did know better.

Brennan took a deep breath and reached for him. He'd kissed her, so she figured he'd earned the right to comfort her. Besides, she needed him to.

Booth saw her reach out and hesitated, finding he'd been unconsciously backing toward the door and was now halfway across the room from her. She looked up and saw him, far away, pulling away just like she knew he would.

"Booth, please. Don't go." She said weakly.

Immediately Booth sat down beside her and pulled her toward his chest, kissing her hair and whispering soothingly while internally he felt himself slipping away.

He couldn't control her pain. He couldn't control Parker's nightmares. He couldn't control the investigation. And now, he knew, he couldn't even control himself.

Brennan hiccupped, attempting to calm down.

Booth gritted his teeth. He'd failed. Again.

She wrapped her arms tighter around him, wanting to tell him it wasn't his fault, but the words stuck in her throat.

He stroked her hair like he always did, wishing the black dread that had seeped into every day would just go away and leave them alone.

He had no control.

He had nothing.


	7. Anything But Ordinary

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! Thanks for the reviews! I am enjoying writing this story and I am sure Hart is too!**

She woke up and immediately knew she was lying in bed with her head on Booth's chest. Her lips curled into a smile as she revelled in how good it felt to be lying there in his arms, as if nothing had happened.

The reality of the situation however, soon hit her. They were only in this position because they had fallen asleep after he comforted her. Thoughts of their aborted sex exploit last night made her stifle a groan. She had wanted it so badly, even now she still wanted it and yet it wasn't possible.

She was tired of the incident taking over every aspect of her life. She subconsciously ran her fingers over her wounds. There was going to be scarring, the doctor had told her as much. It would be a constant reminder of that day, an ordinary one just like the one before it, turned into something ugly and violent. She wondered whether ordinary days were ever going to be possible again. Would she ever be able to sit and watch a movie with Booth and Parker without remembering how the first shots rang through the air?

She felt Booth shift underneath her and she smiled. God she loved this man. She didn't understand how the shift from partners to lovers took so long, why her former self was so stubborn in resisting him. He was hers and she was his. That was just the way it was. She only hoped that this love between them was strong enough to get him through this, to get all of them past this.

She knew he was awake and she felt his eyes on her without even looking up.

"Hi." She said softly into his chest.

"Hi." He replied. "Are you hungry?"

She nodded and he pulled away and slipped out of bed, his arms stretched above his head.

"Pancakes?" She asked, enjoying the familiarity of this discussion. It felt just like the dozens of mornings before. Maybe she was wrong, maybe it just took a while for the ordinary days to come back.

"You got it Babe." He said, flashing his charm smile before leaving the bedroom.

She leaned back against the pillow and smiled. He seemed better today and she, well last night was the first time she hadn't had a nightmare since she got out of the hospital. She didn't know that he'd spent hours staring at the wall before exhaustion finally took him.

'Things will be fine.' She thought to herself as she slowly got out of bed. She trudged into the bathroom and checked her wounds. After making sure they were okay, she padded into the kitchen.

"Chocolate chip or regular?" he asked, mixing the ingredients into a bowl.

"Chocolate chip." She replied enthusiastically.

She watched has he prepared the pancakes and set them down on the table, his comfort and ease in the kitchen was something she'd always admired. She sat down and immediately dug into the pancakes, each bite utterly delicious. Booth always made the best pancakes.

"Where's Parker?" Brennan asked, glancing around. If there were chocolate chip pancakes, the boy shouldn't be too far off.

"I let him sleep since he stayed up so late last night. Rebecca will be here to pick him up in about an hour."

Brennan nodded and continued concentrating on her food.

"So…" She said, swallowing a large bite. "I was thinking about visiting the lab today."

His fork and knife clattered as they hit the plate.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no." He repeated.

"I'm just going to visit, not to work and besides you can't tell me what to do."

"Yes I can." He replied. "I'm your boyfriend, I'm taking care of you."

"And?" She said questioningly. "That doesn't mean you have control over my life."

"Bones I'm just…" He stopped short, seeing the anger on her face. He decided to take another tack.

"You can barely take care of yourself, we couldn't even have sex and now you want to go to work?" He fought to keep his voice under control while her eyes burned with her own barely contained rage.

"Just to visit."

"The squints can come here." He said firmly.

"Do you understand how important it is for me to be there?" She asked.

"No I don't understand." Booth replied, his voice growing louder. "You were shot twice in the chest, Temperance. and you are acting like its nothing."

"I know its not nothing. I have to live with it ruling over my existence every single day." Brennan said angrily. "But you have become this over protective alpha male, more so than usual even, and I don't need, or want it."

Her words felt like a punch to his gut. The very thing he had been trying to do the entire time, was the one thing she said she didn't want. After a long, tense moment of silence he pushed himself away from the table and stood up, leaving the room.

She sighed as she picked up the plates and put them in the sink. Hearing the shower run, she decided to go work on her book in the study. She just didn't want to see him right now.

He stood in the bathroom, letting the water run as he stared at himself in the mirror. The man who stared back at him was not the one he knew. There were dark circles where there used to be none. His eyes were slightly blood shot and he was scruffy, having not shaved the day before.

He looked down at his clenched fists and felt the anger swell up in him again. He unballed his hands, bringing one up to rub over his tired face. He felt his pounding heart and willed himself to calm down.

It wasn't working. He moved out of the bathroom and towards the dresser.

Brennan had made space in the bottom two drawers for his things. Reaching into the drawer, he pulled a purple sock from the very back. Sliding a bottle of pills out of the sock, he quickly popped the lid and dumped two into his hand. He could feel his heart calming already in anticipation of those small white pills.

With a sigh, he shoved the sock back into the drawer and he made his way back to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Travis looked across his desk and suppressed a sigh. It was clear his friend wasn't getting better and he wasn't sure how to help him.

"So then, the bullets match casings found in a series of carjackings that have occurred in the city but we still don't have a physical description, or anything of the like."

"That's it?" Booth asked stonily.

"Look Seeley boy, I am trying the best that I can okay? You know tha'." Travis said. "But it doesn't help that you are in here every day riding my arse. You gotta give me time to figure this out okay?" Taking a breath, he leaned back in his chair and loosened his tie, "Now whats wrong?"

"Nothings wrong." Booth replied automatically. "And I'm sorry that I am 'in your way.'"

"You still takin' those sleeping pills?" Travis sidestepped the snide comment with ease and watched Booth carefully as he answered.

Almost immediately Booth clammed up.

"I was off them okay?" Booth said defensively. "So I am fine. I just want to get back to work but it seems Cullen has other ideas."

"It was a big deal, what happened to you Seeley." Travis said seriously. "Maybe you should think about seeing someone…"

"Look I came for an update about the case not a lecture" Booth snapped. "So is that it?"

"Yeah." Travis replied. "I guess so."

"Fine." Booth said, rising from his chair and stalking out the door.

Travis sighed. There was something seriously wrong with his friend and it was time someone did something about it. He picked up his phone and rifled through his desk drawer for a wrinkled piece of paper. Dialling the number Booth gave him, he sat back in his chair and waited.

"Brennan."

"Dr. Brennan, its Travis." He said.

"Yes?" She asked, her tone slightly frosty. This gave him some indication about Booth's mood.

"I'm calling about Seeley. He needs to be talked to and you should be the one to do it." Travis said bluntly.

"I don't want to talk to him right now." She replied. "And frankly, I don't appreciate you running interference between us."

Travis sighed and pressed on his eyes with the heel of his hand, forcing himself to exhale deeply. He knew he shouldn't lose his patience with his best friend's girlfriend, but he was too worried to care.

"He is doing his best with this thing too you know?" He said, harsher than he'd intended.. "It's eatin' away at him, what happened…for a man like Seeley, he feels like he failed. Like he's lost control, that's a lot to handle and he has got to deal with it. He's not accustomed to asking for help so you've got to confront him. He'll listen to you."

"Look Agent Ferguson…"

"Do you know about the pills?" He asked brusquely.

There was silence for a moment.

"Yes." She replied, her voice considerably softer. "He takes them to help him sleep."

"Not juss for that." Travis said.

"I know." She said quietly, her anger rapidly dissipating.

"You should talk to him, it's only going to get worse."

"I don't know how." She said honestly. "What…what do I do?"

She sounded so plaintive that he wanted to take back his earlier anger.

"Just talk to him. Talk, make him listen. He'll try to walk away and brush it off, don't let 'im. You two have a connection, I know that Seeley loves you."

"How did you know about the drugs?" She asked quietly.

He hesitated before answering. "His finger twitched. It's a common sign of drug misuse."

There was silence again before she answered as she regained her composure.

"Right." She said firmly. "Well thank you for calling Travis."

"Your welcome." He replied, hanging up the phone. He hoped that his friend could finally get some help.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brennan sat on the couch, her head in her hands. She had known about the pills but didn't think much of it. She had been too concerned about her own problems and frustrations that she forgot to remember his. Thinking back to their earlier argument, she felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

Booth was hurting. He was in trouble and she needed to help make it right. It was time to confront him about everything. She would help him get better.

That's what partners did.


	8. Losing Grip

**A/N: Wow, I didn't realize that people had responded to the last chap cuz alerts were down, so thank you, thank you! Both Hart and I are glad that people are liking this story. Be warned, its getting more angsty! **

Chapter Eight: Losing Grip

Booth walked out of the FBI building and sighed, he hated being on edge with Travis…but he seemed to be doing it a lot lately. There was really no reason for him to stay. He was pretty good about keeping up with paperwork and he had done all of it two weeks ago, having kept busy since then with any work he could find. But when he unnecessarily snapped at a Junior Agent three days ago, Cullen forced him to take a leave of absence.

The summer morning did not feel at all inviting, ominous clouds said rain was on it's way and the unbelievable humidity backed up that assumption. Early morning fog had settled and most people were still at home, escaping the muggy heat with air conditioning and ice water. The pavement was still wet from a short drizzle earlier and somewhere off in the distance a woman was walking, the click of her high heels echoing off the streets.

He sighed again, running a hand through his hair, noting that he'd forgotten to brush it that day and without gel it was most likely a bushy mess all over his head. Not that he really cared.

He glanced up, his monstrous black SUV seeming out of place on the empty street, looking forbidding and enticing at the same time.

Booth jammed his hands into his jean pockets and walked in the opposite direction of his vehicle. He wandered aimlessly, knowing full well he should head back to the apartment and make up with Bones, but the prospect felt too tiring at the moment. Instead he found the stiff silence in the air a welcome comfort and his thoughts seemed to have quieted for the first time in weeks.

He'd been walking with his head down and had no idea how far he'd gotten. When he looked up, chills ran up and down his spine and he gritted his teeth.

He was in the middle of Arlington National Cemetery. He blinked as drops of water ran down his face and into his eyes. Looking up he realized it was raining. Well, not raining per say, more like…misting. A rain so light and soft it didn't really deserve to be called 'rain'.

He started walking again, this time with purpose. He hadn't visited the grave in years, but for some reason his feet seemed to know the way.

Minutes later he stopped and looked down. In a sea of small white headstones and miniature American flags, he'd managed to find a single man. Beneath an engraving of the cross he read:

Charles Seeley Booth  
Private First Class  
US Army  
February 4, 1889  
December 16, 1915  
Silver Star  
World War I

He stared at the engraved words for a moment, lost in memories of summer vacations with his family. They'd often travel down from Philadelphia to a cabin in Virginia, but his father always made a point to take his two sons to the nation's capital. Wanted them to know where they came from, the meaning of duty and honor. He and his brother would visit countless monuments while their father gave a running commentary of the significance of each one.

But every time they inevitably ended up here, in this very spot and his father would tell them how their great-grandfather left a wife and son, their grandfather, to go fight in the war, protect his family and his country. And he told them how Seeley got his name.

"Hi Grandpa Charlie." Booth began roughly, his voice not sounding like his own. Silence was the only response. He sighed and kneeled, crossing himself and bowing his head. His tired eyes fell shut.

It was easier to find the words with his eyes closed.

"What do I…I'm…" He took a deep breath and unclenched his jaw, he'd been gritting his teeth lately and it was giving him a headache. "I'm not some idiot Neanderthal." He said finally, opening his eyes to the tombstone.

"I know she can take care of herself, I've seen her do it. She's the strongest, smartest woman I know, she doesn't need me to protect her…she calls me an alpha-male." He shook his head, Brennan's face swirling in his mind. "But protecting her is what I do, it's what I bring to our partnership. Whether she likes it or not that is my job, on and off the clock, to keep her safe… if I fail to, then why does she need me?" He looked back at the stone, but it did not answer him.

He shook his head at himself, and closed his eyes again.

"I can't stand seeing her in pain. I feel like my chest is going to collapse every time I have to change her bandages or help her out of the bathtub. And I can see how much she hates it, and she blames me for her helplessness. I can feel it. Then there's Parker."

Booth smiled sadly and blinked as water ran down into his eyes. "He's so…he runs around most of the time like nothing happened…and then it's like a switch gets flipped. A car backfires, or someone startles him from behind and he's in tears…I hear him scream at night," He paused, trying to stop his voice from shaking, "and I wonder if it will ever be over for him. For any of us. It's been nearly a month since the shooting and nothing feels the same. It feels like it will never be the same again, we'll always have the memory of that day there, lurking in the back of our minds. In our dreams." He trailed off for a moment. "And I don't know how to make it right."

He studied the engraving carefully, wishing for a whispered piece of advice. "How do I make things right again Grandpa Charlie?" He whispered.

"By talking to people who will actually answer you."

Booth stood quickly and whirled around, his hand instinctively flying to his hip, although his holster was, of course, missing.

He squinted through the fog at the figure coming toward him.

"Bones?"

She emerged smiling. "Yes, unless your great-grandfather favored Prada." She teased, pointing to her brown knee high boots.

Booth smiled for her sake and took her hand as she came to stand beside him.

"I was asking for advice." He said, after a few minutes of silence.

She turned to him, her flowery perfume wafting toward him as she moved.

"Did you get any?"

He sighed and shook his head, lifting his gaze to a thick of trees a few rows away.

"No, not really. But then you can't always…" He stopped and squinted, his senses automatically heightened. He could have sworn he just saw something move over there.

"What is it?"

He shook his head and started to move, pushing her behind him.

"Booth, what are you…"

Her words were cut off by a deafening blast that echoed and disturbed a flock of crows in a nearby tree.

Booth reached for his hip and pulled out his Glock, firing two quick rounds at the shadow in the trees. A soft 'thud' caught his attention and he turned, horrified to see Brennan lying beside him, eyes wide with fear as her shirt darkened with blood.

The ground fell from beneath him and he was on his knees beside her. He used one hand to apply pressure to her wound, the other smoothed her hair as he leaned close to whisper to her.

He could see the light fading in her eyes and blinding panic rose in his chest.

"Bones, Bones please. God, Temperance don't do this to me again. Don't leave me, please." He begged, leaning close to whisper to her.. His voice had given out.

She slowly lifted one pale hand and touched his cheek.

"I loved you Booth…why did you let this…" Her hand dropped and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Bones…Bones! Temperance!" He shook her, but there was no response. He knew she was gone.

He screamed and the world split apart, releasing a down pour that immediately soaked through his clothes, washed her blood from his skin, but couldn't even begin to erode the pain that froze him in that spot, kneeling beside her, face buried in her hair.

"Sir!"

Booth's head snapped up and he blinked, looking around.

He was standing, looking down at his grandfather's headstone. His eyes flew to the ground beside him, but she wasn't there. She had vanished, no trace of blood left on the ground, where moments before it had been spilling out of her. He could smell her shampoo, feel her touch on his cheek and yet she was nowhere to be found. He looked down at his hands, expecting them to be covered in blood, but all that was there was a few pieces of dirt.

Was it all in my head? He wondered, his body trembling. It had felt real, so real in fact that his heart was pounding furiously and he was inhaling short, shallow breaths.

"Sir, are you alright?"

The voice that had startled him from his reverie cut through his thoughts again and Booth looked up. A man, one of the grounds attendants stood not ten feet away under a black umbrella. It had begun to rain much harder and he could tell without moving that he was soaked to the bone.

Bones! Her name suddenly hit him and he looked at his wrist in vain for the time.

Dammit, forgot my watch again!

"Sir do you…"

"No, I'm fine!" Booth finally answered. He slicked his hair back out of his face and hurried off through the cemetery in the direction of Brennan's apartment, hoping he hadn't been gone long.


	9. Broken

Booth's knuckles gripped the steering wheel as he drove blindly towards her apartment. His outwardly calm appearance concealed the pain and frustration he felt inside. Blinking, he tried to focus on the road, it was only a few more blocks till Brennan's apartment. His heart was thumping madly as his hallucination ran through his mind over and over, her body on the ground, riddled with bullet holes.

His heart pounded in his ears, seemed to be rattling his whole body as he pulled into her parking lot. He leapt out of the car and took the steps two by two as he made his way up to her apartment. When he opened the door, he found her sitting on the couch reading a magazine.

Leaving his keys in the door, he strode toward her, sank down on the couch and pulled her into his arms.

"Booth, what?" She remained stiff in his arms, unprepared for the onslaught of emotions that came with him hugging her like that. It was a completely different reaction then she was expecting, considering their fight this morning and was she was preparing to talk about this afternoon.

After a moment he pulled back and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

Her gaze flickered between his cloudy eyes several times, searching for a reason for his behaviour, before she answered. "I'm fine, why what happened?"

"Nothing… nothing." He dismissed her quickly. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

She nodded and leaned over, reaching for her glass of grape juice, still slightly irritated her prescribed painkillers meant no wine. She could really use some wine right about now.

"Booth, we need to talk."

"About what?" He asked, something about her tone made him immediately defensive.

"About everything." She replied. "I'm worried about you, Travis is worried about you…"

"You spoke to Travis?" He said, angry that his girlfriend and his best friend seemed to be ganging up on him.

"Well, he called me and he suggested that I talk to you." She explained slowly. She could see the way his body was tensing up the more she talked. She didn't think that was what was supposed to happen.

"I don't need you two to tell me what to do." He muttered, turning away.

"Oh, so it's fine for you to tell me what to do but not vice-versa?" She found herself growing angry as well at the pig-headedness of that suggestion.

"Look, let's just drop it okay?" He said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

"No."

He turned around and saw her hands on her hips and a determined look in her eyes.

"We have to talk about this." She insisted, her voice rising steadily.

"About what?" He shouted. "I don't know what you want to talk about!"

She strode into the bedroom and he could hear her rummaging around. He reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of beer, and cursed when he found none. Impulsively, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured himself a glass of red wine, hoping that it would help calm him down a little.

He had quickly downed half a glass before she came storming back into the room.

"What's this?" She said, pulling out a bottle of pills from a purple sock.

"I told you I needed those to sleep." He said clenching his fist, his other hand squeezed tightly around the wine glass.

"And these?" She shouted, pulling out another bottle. "Xanax, Booth? Those aren't for sleeping."

"The doctor gave them to me. I'm just following doctor's orders for crying out loud Bones!" He shouted back.

She lowered her head and took a deep breath. This was not what she wanted to happen. She didn't mean to get angry, she had hoped that they could have a calm, rational conversation about everything that was going on.

Unfortunately, nothing that was going on was rational.

"Fine." She replied as calm as she could. "If you won't talk about this can we discuss everything else?"

"What else is there?" He asked, the anger pulsating in his voice.

"Seeley, you barely talk to me anymore. You're distant, even with Parker. I want to be there for you, help you with this but I don't know how. Travis said you felt you failed, but you didn't. What happened…It wasn't your fault or mine."

"No offence, but Travis doesn't know what the fvck he's talking about." He spat.

"Booth, look at me." She pleaded. "It's me, Temperance. Bones. We can figure this out, we're a good team, remember?" She dropped the pills to the table and moved towards him. "Please."

He paused and searched her eyes for a moment. Eyes so blue and honest he knew for a fact they were one of the may reasons he fell in love with her. The same blue eyes that had been cold, distant and angry that morning. Eyes that cut him deep with just half a dozen words eight hours earlier.

"You don't want me." He said bluntly.

"What?" she asked incredulously.

"This morning, remember? You clearly stated that you didn't want me."

Her lips parted and she took on that thoughtful look he knew so well as she tried to remember what she said that morning.

"Booth! You're taking it out of context. I don't want you hovering over me! There's a difference." She said.

"No there isn't." He said stubbornly.

She slowly walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm.

"I love you Booth." She said softly.

He just took another gulp of his wine and stared back at her, trying to pretend like he didn't care. He had to pretend because he did care. So much. Too much. Maybe if he had cared just a little less he could have protected them just a little more. Maybe…

"Please, Booth, I just want to help you."  
His grip tightened around the wine glass and he fought back the rage he could feel boiling within him. He wasn't sure why he was angry, but he was.

At the same time, he did know what was making him angry. It was her. It was the way she clung to him when they slept. The way she looked to him for guidance when she was socially lost, the way she kissed him with everything she had. She didn't get to do those things and then say she didn't need him. Because she did need him. And at a time when he felt himself and everything he was slipping away, he needed her to need him, more than air, sun, blood or water. She was all he had.

She told him all the time that she didn't need to be protected, didn't want to be sheltered and he could take that, expected it. But to say she didn't need him…that was more than he could handle, so much more than he could take.

That's why he was angry. More angry than he'd ever been. He felt lost and alone and she didn't need him. And now, he needed to throw something.

"Just go away." He said, turning back towards the sink, afraid of what he'd do. The very look of her, her soft auburn hair and deep blue eyes were making him angry and he didn't have control of himself the way he used to, so he needed her to go away.

"Booth, wait." She said, reaching for his arm and pulling him back toward her, in the process causing the glass of wine he was holding to spill all over his shirt.

"Now look what you've done." He growled, ripping the shirt over his head and pushing past her down the hall to the laundry room. He grabbed the stain remover and began to rub the shirt furiously.

"It won't come out." He muttered to himself. "I can't stop it."

_"I can't stop it." Booth said, his hands pressed hard against the bleeding coming forth from Mackie's body._

_"Booth." Mackie choked out. "Go… they're coming, you should go."_

_"No, I'm not leaving you here." Booth shouted. " I can fix this." He pressed harder on Mackie's chest, the blood seeping through the cloth and through his fingers. "It'll be okay. It will all be okay."_

_"Tell Jeannie I love her, ok?" Mackie said, wincing as the pain became unbearable._

_"Tell her yourself." Booth replied, continuing to put pressure on the wounds._

_The sound of gunshots nearby caused both soldier's to shiver and both recognized the look on the others' face as fear._

_"Please, Booth, leave me here. I'm not going to make it." Mackie said, coughing, crimson blood bubbling out the corners of his mouth. "But you can. Go."_

_"I can't leave you here." Booth said wildly. "I told your mom I'd protect you, look out for you."_

_"And you did." Mackie replied, reaching up and grasping Booth's shoulder with his hand. "Now go Seeley."_

_Booth looked down at the blood on his hands and then back to Mackie, whose eyes were already closed._

_And then he ran._

"Dammit!" he cursed, scrubbing the t-shirt violently.

"Seeley, stop…you're scaring me." She said shakily, standing in the doorway. He turned to look at her and she gasped involuntarily. The wild look in his eyes , his heavy breathing all added up to one conclusion. Something was wrong.

"I can't get it out." He muttered, returning to scrubbing the shirt. "It won't come out."

"What?" She asked, not wanting to really know the answer but her eternal curiosity not allowing her to keep from asking the question. "What won't come out?"

"The blood, it won't come out." He said tonelessly.

"There's no blood." She said, stepping towards him slowly. "It's just wine, just a glass of red wine, Booth."

His arms suddenly stopped moving and he bent over the sink, his chest heaving as if he'd just run a marathon. Then, as Brennan watched wide-eyed, he slowly sank to his knees and leaned back against the concrete wall, eyes still glued to the shirt in his shaking hands as he tried pointlessly to scrub at it with his fingers.

"I didn't mean to run, I shouldn't have run."

Brennan knelt beside him and touched his shoulder, causing him to jerk back.

"I couldn't save him." He said, with tears in his eyes.

She placed her hands over his, and he stopped moving. "Who?" she asked quietly, her blood rushing in her ears. She didn't know what to do. He wasn't acting rational, he didn't seem like himself. He didn't even seem sane.

"Mackie." He whispered, looking down at the t-shirt again. "I couldn't protect him. I couldn't protect you."

She felt her heart rip open at his admission and she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. "Yes you did." She replied, a tear rolling silently down her cheek.

"Temperance…" he said, his voice full of anguish as he gently touched her cheek.

"I'm here." She said.

He nodded and began to wheeze, his hand fell away and his breath becoming more and more laboured. Clutching one hand to his chest ,his eyelids began to flutter.

"Seeley, Seeley, what is it?" she cried, as he fell forward onto her.

With great effort she managed to roll him over and, after checking for a pulse, she got up and sprinted to the living room.

Grabbing the phone, she dialled without thinking. "Hello, 911? I think my partner's having a heart attack…"

* * *

**THE END!**

**Just kidding! Check out the third story in this trilogy: Hearts Are Mended, Life Goes On, coming soon!**


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